Battle of the Best?

Who's the baddest chick in the game?

Can't we all just get along? Recently, a battle of the best female emcees has been brewing between relative newcomer Nicki Minaj and hip-hop heavyweight Lil' Kim. Now, I'm not a rap expert by any means, but I have to say: enough is enough, ladies.

On Nicki's debut CD, "Pink Friday," she disses Lil' Kim on the track "Roman's Revenge." Nicki Minaj calls Lil' Kim a "has-been" and says, "You outta work, I know it's tough." And Lil' Kim, never one to be outdone, slammed Nicki on "Black Friday," which was, appropriately enough, released on Black Friday and is a blatant slap in the face to Nicki's "Pink Friday." The Queen Bee raps: "It’ll be a murder scene, I’m turning Pink Friday to ‘Friday the 13th.' I hate you Lil’ Kim clone/clown."

The women go blow for blow and I have to admit, after listening to both songs, Lil' Kim definitely goes harder. The comparisons are impossible to avoid: both Lil' Kim and Nicki Minaj are female rappers in a mostly male dominated industry, both have been known to wear fluorescent wigs and both woman have larger-than-life personas, which are largely thanks in part to their shameless sexuality. But Lil' Kim came first and, in my opinion, she did it better. Miss Minaj, if it weren't for Lil' Kim, you wouldn't be here. Show some respect.

Nevertheless, we, as Black women, need to support each other and help build each other up instead of tearing each other down. Seriously, both of you are the minority in your field and you're both very good at what you do. You're better than a large number of the male rappers out there. Lil' Kim held her own with Biggie and Nicki Minaj hands down has the best verse on "Monster," which features Kanye West, Jay-Z and Rick Ross. Instead of insulting each other, I'd love to see you join forces for good and defy the angry Black woman stereotypes. That will make everyone's head really spin.

Ladies, Whip Your Hair

As much as I don't particularly like this tune from Willow Smith, I cannot help but admire the song's theme of individuality. A woman's hair is such an important part of who she is. Personally, I know if my hair doesn't look good, I don't feel good. A fabulous hairdo can change your whole mood and we often look to celebs for inspiration.

I mean, seriously, who hasn't gone to her hair stylist for the "Rihanna"? Whether it's the angled bob, faux-hawk or now the Ronald McDonald-red. Ten years ago, it was the "Jennifer" inspired by "Friends" star and Brad Pitt's ex Jennifer Aniston.

The point of Willow's song–as I understand it–is to be comfortable enough with yourself to whip your hair back and forth. I can respect that. Too often we're told how our hair should look, how long or short or straight it should be. And, if you're Black, there's the natural versus relaxed debate that has been going on since the dawn of time. The list goes on and on. I say: you do you and I'll do me.

I prefer to wear my hair relaxed (or straight ), but I don't think that makes me any less of a Black woman as some of my natural hair counterparts would have you believe. Likewise, if you want to wear tracks, weaves or wigs, than go for it. If it makes you feel beautiful and more confident, then rock on.

As the song says, "Don't matter if it's long, short, do it do it whip your hair." In the meantime, I'll be trying to figure out how a 9-year-old girl has more swag than I do.

Pass the Gravy, Please

Don't forget about me!

It's the most wonderful time of the year...or is it? While shopping at the mall this weekend, I couldn't help but notice the festive holiday decorations, Santa's workshop and Christmas carols playing softly in the background. I checked the date on my watch: definitely November 13. Roughly two weeks before Thanksgiving and more than an entire month before Christmas.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music and decorations as much as the next person, but I follow a very strict personal rule of not playing holiday music until after Thanksgiving.

The reason is quite simple: I like to celebrate each holiday in its own time and it highly annoys me that other holidays (i.e. Halloween and Thanksgiving) are overshadowed by Christmas. Trust me, once Turkey Day has passed, I will be rocking around the Christmas tree to my holiday music playlist. But until then, turkey rules.

I was disgusted when I saw Christmas displays at Home Depot before Halloween. Christmas has become a huge marketing ploy, more than a celebration of Jesus' birth (I mean, seriously, Black Friday commercials already?). I love giving (and getting) gifts, too, but that's not the "reason for the season" as my grandmother would say.

Thanksgiving is just as important as Christmas. Actually, a part of me likes it more than Christmas because it takes all of the fun stuff (food, family and football) without the pressure of buying gifts. More importantly, Thanksgiving is–as its name suggests–a time to give thanks for your family, your friends, a roof over your head and food on the table. Life's too short not to be thankful for the many blessings we all have. So wait your turn, Santa, we haven't even carved the turkey yet. You'll have your chance soon enough.

What a Difference a Decade Makes...

A little fuzzy, but this is me as Scary Spice at 13. Girl Power!

Ten years ago, I was an awkward, nerdy and insecure 13-year-old girl. And while I'm still a huge nerd and I can be a bit awkward at times, I'm proud to announce I am no longer insecure.

Now I'm not claiming to be the most confident woman on the planet because I'm not. Like most (honest) people, I have my good days and my bad days, but I try my best not to dwell on the bad days.

Probably the biggest difference between me at 13 and me at 23 is I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. I cannot tell you how many nights I cried myself to sleep begging God to make me as pretty as the blond pop stars on the cover of my teen magazines. Even though I was surrounded by strong, beautiful black women (my mom, my hair stylist and teachers, etc.), I just didn't feel like I was (or could be) one of them.

Now, flash forward 10 years, and I'm proud to say I'm a young black woman and I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade my experience and insecurities for the world, because they made me who I am today and inspired me to make the world a better place for every little girl out there dealing with the same issues.

I love my full lips, wide hips and thick thighs. My brown skin is a symbol of beauty and strength, not ugliness and weakness. This was by no means an overnight success story. It took me a long time to get to where I am today, but thanks to the love and support from my family and friends and my faith in God, I've made it. Better late than never, right? Here's to the next 10 years!